Rishtey-darr aka relatives are everywhere. They come in all shapes, sizes and quirks :P. You meet them a few times a year, at family gatherings or on vacations. You love them, but you can't help noticing their myriad eccentricities. From hordes of life-advice-doling-out uncles to aunts who can do nothing but catch you unawares with their 'When are you getting married?' questions, nosy relatives are a menace that all of us have had to deal with at one point of time or the other. So much so, that for a lot of us especially during our mid 20's, attending an occasion which sees every relative under the sun in the same venue, is nothing short of a nightmare. They are all colorful and quite sweet (and bitter?) relatives! Often, we are surrounded by these relatives against our damned wishes! Some of them are the ones we can't wait to meet, while there are some whose names we keep trying to find!
Here I have tried to decode some most common types of rishtey-darr that all of us have certainly experienced running into:
1.The maddening kid
‘Didi phone nhi de rahi”
The little devil! Remember the one that asked you for your brand new phone while their parents are looking, so you just cannot say no, and then drop it on the floor right in front of your eyes..Oops..!!
2. The gossipmonger sutli bomb
“Arey bta bhi do..mjhse kya sharmana”
There is one intrusive aunty in every Indian family, who is the most curious in the family especially about you. She will call you up when it is your result day, when you come back from a job interview and even when she sees you with an opposite sex in public. If nothing else, she will not hesitate to ask you about your friends, salary, relationship status and everything about you. In short, an all-time spy! And on top of that, this one is the big-mouthed. He/she has the weird itch to say everything. Everything unwanted. They yearn into our lives like that unforeseen sutli bomb and make a mess of it all. Oh God, WHY?!
3. The talkative one
This one could be an uncle or aunt. One thing is clear from conversation with them- they are of the firm opinion that every second they are not spouting slews of meaningless blabber, is a precious second wasted. Caution- Just smile, nod and inch away very slowly. Whatever you do, don’t break eye-contact. They see this as weakness and increase the loudness of their voice and proceeds to accompany it with violent hand gestures and sometimes snorts of laughter. This one does not know what being quiet means and does not stop jibber-jabbering till the time you get a headache! (It was nice to meet you. Not *being devil*)
4. The food mill
I am super sure, all of us have one aunt who makes us eat till the time we have to beg her to stop feeding us! She has everything, from ‘bhujias’ with tea before starters :P to ‘chhapan bhog’ in the main dish and of course, not to miss- ‘the dessert list’. But yes, we love her because who does not love good food?
5. The Armani Princess
We all have one fashionista in our family who makes us envy her style and drool over her oh-so beautiful clothes. Be it a lehenga in her sister’s wedding, or a gown in an evening party, she has got it all and carries them with panache. Close cousins are of course green with envy while the distant ones cannot help but eye her!
6. The sugar bag
Blame this person if you end up getting diabetes after an occasion. He/she is loaded with extra sweetness while talking to you and will make it a point to ‘shower you with the sugary love’. Chaashni me latpat baatein- you will hear them all and will not understand how to respond. But don’t deny- you love hearing to her not-so-real appreciations, after all passing time is very important during family functions..!!
7. The whiny soul
Everything ain’t nice, girlie! This rishtey-darr has the ultimate capability to find faults in everything and everyone around. For them, the clothes are either too old school or too modern, the food too heavy or absolutely tasteless, the decoration too dull or too jazzy. Having problems is understood but they will make sure that every living being knows about it!
8. The ATM of the family
“Mere pass bahut paisa hai!!”
The one rishtey-darr who would love to pay for all the bills for everybody around. For him/her, giving cash is rather convenient and ahaan-how true it is! Their envelope makes our eyes sparkle. May god bless this ameer soul!
9. Rishtey-darr X
There is always one out of all the relatives we meet during family occasions, who we never knew existed! You can call him/her- relative X. This one will just happen to you. You are supposed to smile in front of this ‘dooooor ka rishtey-darr’ as your parents cherish their old memories when they pop out of nowhere. *Hahahaha*
10. The Oh-no, don’t do it one
“Don’t eat rice today, it is a no-moon day”, “Don’t wash your hair on Thursday and Tuesday and Saturday”, don’t go out of the house because I just sneezed”. Sounds familiar? So, this relative is superstitious, dominating and a cherry of the top, is a conformist. He/she wants everything “as per so-called rules’. And we totally detest these rules!
10. The honey-pie
Yes, you cannot miss this one. The one relative whom we all love! It can either be the adorable grand mom, the hilarious uncle, the enthusiastic aunt or that lovely cousin. They are the life of every get-together and their sunny nature cheers everyone up. They are the ones who actually light up our lives. J
I am sure you too must have at least half of these rishtey-darr in your family, isn’t it?
Did I miss anyone? Do share your views in the comment section below.