• Aakansha Mahajan

Negative Nancy all around-nah, not anymore..!!

Negative people. They are human leeches who just suck the life out of you. You try to stay positive and remain strong but their negativity ends up just completely draining you, you feel exhausted, and you may also start to feel depressed at times.

We all have naysayers in our lives who manage to bring us down on a perfectly good day. We cannot always just “get rid of” the negative people. Sometimes they are your family, friends, coworkers, lovers. People have bad days. Even you.

After a few years of observation and self-reflection, I have come to a realisation that the best way to face real life challenges is to take a good look at yourself, assume responsibility for whatever it is that you are thinking, feeling and living. It includes your interaction with a naysayer as well.

For instance, if you are interacting with the naysayers and you have to deal with them on a regular basis, you should never allow their negativity to affect you and what is most important, you should never blame them if it does.

Never give your power away by blaming others for what you have done or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel.

The moment you do, you become a victim of your circumstances and instead of using your time and energy to overcome life’s challenges, you will get lost in the problems and you will get stuck in a really dark and unhappy place for a very long time.

So if you cannot rid someone from your life, how do you deal with these naysayers?


Negative people prevent us from making positive changes in our lives. Today I want to share with you 6 smart ways (which I too have tried and tested, and yes they have worked) to deal with the naysayer in order to preserve your sanity.

1. Set your own boundaries:

Don’t feel pressurised to sit and listen to a negative person. Their negative energy will seep into your own life and affect your attitude. Set limits and put some distance between yourself and this individual. If you must be around a naysayer, try to keep your interaction short. You cannot control the negative behavior, but you can control whether or not you engage.

2. Like attracts like- watch your attitude:

Like attracts like, and whether we like or not, we attract in our lives people, events, situations that mirror our internal state of being.

How do you feel on a regular basis? Are you feeling, joyful, excited, grateful and loving or you are feeling cranky, judgmental, negative and frustrated?

You may go through a period when you are projecting your own unhappiness on to those around you and because of that, all you can see is mean and unhappy people. Watch out for it. Take an attitude check. Are your negative comments setting the tone? Are you contributing to the negativity in the conversation?

Funny thing, the moment you will shift from unhappy to happy, the people will change too.

Like attracts like. It will surprise you as long as you live.” - Richard Bach

3. Choose your battles:

Don’t engage every time someone irritates you. Not only will you be seen as argumentative, you will be welcoming toxicity into your own life. Rather than argue, try to ignore and avoid any negative comments. Control your emotions and prevent the situation from escalating. Walk away from unnecessary conflict. You will be respected for taking the high road.

4. Show support but avoid the hole:

It is always the right thing to show a degree of compassion for somebody who seems to be in a negative spiral, but you must give this compassion in such a way that you can avoid falling in to the same hole yourself. Understanding somebody’s pain is not the same as indulging it, and your attempts to help should always be backed up by encouragement for the behavior to change.

5. Clear your head afterwards:

Dealing with negative people taxes and drains your energy. Therefore, whenever you are forced to deal with such folks, take time afterward to recharge your emotional batteries.

The best thing to do after dealing with a downer is to call or visit a kindred spirit (may be your support system) who shared your basically positive energy.

If that is not possible, you can always go for a walk, listen to some good music, read something inspirational (which is my all-time favorite).

Do something, anything that creates a mental break.

Failing to do so is like failing to wash yourself or change your clothes after wading through mud. If you are not careful, negativity can will stick to you.

In fact that is the reason that naysayers are negative. It is a learned behavior. After all, most kids are natural optimists!

6. Take the garbage truck pledge: (inspired from the book- The law of the Garbage Truck)

David J. Pollay is the author of The Law of the Garbage. He believes that-

Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they look for a place to dump it. And if you let them, they will dump it on you. So, when someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Believe me. You will be happier.”

How about you?

 Are any of these 6 tips useful for you? Do you have any personal experience on how to deal with negative people? Feel free to share in the comments section below.


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