“Just because she is beautiful, it does not mean you are not”
Did you ever stop and think about how often we are told to change our appearance? The statements like “you are too fat, you must do something to lose your weight”, “Oh god! So skinny! Your mom does not give you food, eh?”, “Your face looks pretty but your body weighs too much” and what not are the common statements which many of us would have heard at least once in our lives.
Body shaming, as most of us are already aware is the practice of making critical and humiliating comments about a person’s body size or weight.
We live in a society where body shaming is a norm and I don’t think any one of us is saved from hearing such comments about how we look and what we must do to change it.
We get to hear comments on our body, its shape, size and how we look from a very young age and different ways to change it from various sources, be it friends, family, relatives, magazines or some newspaper articles.
‘You look so fat, why don’t you do something to reduce your weight’, ‘Oh Gosh! You are so slim, don’t you eat properly?, ‘Such heavy thighs, you cannot get into athletics with them’, ‘motu, golu, gappo, gol gappa’ these are some phrases which we get to hear and apparently we too use many such statements for people around us.
Who are we to judge anyone based on how they look and how they dress themselves? Who are we to tell anyone to work on their body and appearance? Are we perfect? Even if we are, do we have any right to body shame anybody?
We are no body to tell anyone what they need to do with their body.
We all are perfectly imperfect and beautiful in our own unique ways.
A lot of us can relate with body shaming and I would like to share my own experiences of body shaming through which I have suffered a lot of pain, depression and torture throughout my life.
I was always a chubby girl since childhood. Being on a heavier side of your weight has always been a pain for me. People around me used to make fun of me by calling me by various names like dhanno, motu, gappo and what not. Not only acquaintances, my own relatives used to call me by these names. For them, it was just fun but it was not funny for me, ever! May be their intention was not to make me feel low about myself, but that is what they were always doing.
I remember an incident which I can never forget- once I went to my cousin’s house and was just about to sit on their newly bought sofa when I was asked to not to sit on it as it might break because of my weight!! I was told to sit on the bed instead of that sofa. Painful, isn’t it? (It is not that it affects me anymore or the person who said this is not in touch with me, but it just an incident which I cannot forget, no matter how hard I try).
Buying clothes when you are fat is another task. Shopkeepers used to look at me in derogatory ways and the whole process of trying clothes, not fitting in, re trying a larger size and again and again was highly depressing for me, always and always. Hence, I always used to find excused whenever I was asked to buy clothes. When relatives used to come to my place, they use to tell my parents that they should serve me less food and I was also given a whole list of to-do and not-to-do..!!
This continued for a long period of time making me feel really bad about myself. My self- esteem was very low and I felt ugly and bad from inside for my own self. (Since I was too young, each and every comment used to affect me deeply)
It is not that I was very fat or I used to eat a lot or anything like that but the whole point is why on the face of this earth I was asked to change myself. I will do it when I will feel like doing it. I lost interest in everything be it meeting relatives, buying clothes, going out. I became a geek who used to study and study and isolated myself from the entire world. I tried many a times to skip my meals, go for a walk or jog but everything failed every time. (I was just 8-9 years old and such pressure was beyond me because I was doing it)
To my fortune, after a few years, my brother asked me to join aerobics classes just for fun and those classes helped me a lot and my body was totally transformed. I lost a lot of weight and I gained my confidence back. But I was able to do it because I wanted to do it, not because people were criticizing me for how I used to look. (even during my journey of weight loss, I had to hear a lot of criticism, itna kuch kr rhi hai, koi fakr toh dikh nhi rha, kitne paise waste kr die par patli to hui nhi, kuch bhi kr le, jb tk khana kum nhi kregi kuch nhi hoga, tere bski nhi hai patli hona, tu toh hmesha moti hi rahegi and the list goes on and on)
But the question still remains the same- do people have any right to say anything to anyone? Do we even realize how the person feels when we comment on their body size? This is not funny, not a joke but is really disgusting to make any one feel so low about their own body and self.
“Be proud of who you are and not ashamed of how someone else sees you.”
We all are beautiful and perfect, no matter how we look. Change yourself, only when you feel like doing so and not when others criticise you. No matter what people say, I have learnt one simple thing-
I work out for my health and my satisfaction. I don’t work out for anybody’s judgement whether they approve or disapprove. I don’t really care what others think about me, what affects me is how I feel for myself. Exercise because you love your body and not because you hate it.
For people out there “Be proud of your body”.
What is your say on body shaming?
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