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  • Writer's pictureAakansha Mahajan

Can Professional growth affect REAL friendship? Watch out..!!

Life is all about change and growth. Someone has rightly said; “If you are not changing, you are not growing”. And to grow, everyone needs to change. “Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” But can this change affect your friends and friendship with them? Is your growth responsible for breaking your friendship? But if that is the case, was that real friendship in the first place? One such incident happened with me a few days back which made me think and reflect upon the kind of people I had I my life. We meet a lot of people in the journey of our life, some of them stay and some of them depart but everyone leaves an impression on your life. A few days back, one of my old friend-GS (actually not friend, but friend-cum-acquaintance) called me up (we had not spoken to each other for many years now and the only way by which we were in touch was some regular formal wishes on certain occasions like birthday, friendship day and Diwali) So her call actually amused me but I thought it must be out of some purpose (which was ironically true, but in some other sense). However, to my surprise she told me that she just called me because it was long that we had not spoken so she just wanted to know about my well-being and have a small chit-chat. This really made me smile. But the conversation went in some weird direction and how it started and ended was really funny and disappointing at the same time. It was like: GS- Hi, how are you? It was long that we had not spoken so I thought of calling you. Me- Yeah, hi, I am good and what about you? It is great to hear you after so long, how’s life? GS- Mine is boring, but yours look really exciting and interesting. You are posting a lot of pictures and videos on social networking sites, eh. You know what, I and my other friend were talking one day and she said that this girl (me) has changed a lot. Even though I don’t talk to her, but I have a gut feeling that she has changed. So today, when I saw your picture, I thought of asking you. What is it in your life that you have changed a lot? Me- (totally confused) Changed? What? How? In what sense? My pictures? Talking about me? What exactly is happening? In what sense are you asking me this? GS- Not exactly in any sense, but your life seems very exciting, you are putting so many posts which shows that you are totally velli (uuff, how could she say that) but at the same time you earning a lot (God damn, does she even know my salary?) Is it really too much? I never knew this) so how come all this is possible? Me: (still lost) hahahaha, what do you mean yaar? Posting on social networking sites does not make me “velli” in any sense and it is something which I like to do so I do take out some time from my schedule or all this. What is the harm? What is going on? GS- Nah, leave it. Tell me, are you in touch with any of our common friends? (friend-cum-acquaintance), I think no and I think it might be that you have broken contact with them as you have really “changed”. Me- (shocked)- What are you saying and why are you saying all this? I never broke contact with anyone and by the way, why on the face of this Earth are we talking about anybody else? You have called me after so many years, let’s talk about each other rather than anybody else? GS-No actually, I generally wanted to know about all this. Why are you getting angry?(When did I get angry?) You have really changed yaar..!! I never thought you will behave this way with me. Everyone is right, you have changed, you are so rude, so different, I am sure the communication gap between you and our other friends (friend-cum-acquaintance) must be because of you. You have changed, totally changed. Me- (really upset and stopped her in between) - Stop, what are you saying, what do you want? Please think once as to what exactly do you want to talk about. GS- I wanted to know about you, your experience in life, how can you grow so well too early, how is your life so good (I don’t know what made her think that), how are you earning so well (again, what) ...... Me- Stopped her again- Stop girl, enough, I fail to understand your purpose of calling me but I have lost it now, I will talk to you later. (Phone cut) …. What was this conversation all about? Who was at fault? The friend (friend-cum-acquaintance) who called out of nowhere just to make me feel that she is not able to take it that I am growing so well in life (I don’t know what she meant by that) and she wanted me to feel bad. She played with my head and ruined my peace of mind. Or it was me who was not able to understand what exactly was she saying? People tend to remain your friends till the time they have the peace of mind that you and your life is worse than theirs. I am not saying that real friendship does not exist but yes not all people who say they are your friends-are your real ones. They stay with you, talk to you till the time you talk about your pain and agony with them. Once you re-start your life, they will try to put you down. But we really need to think about a few things- Is putting pictures on social networking sites indicating anything about your real life. Does it really make a difference? Is it helping you to understand how people are interpreting about your life? How and why is it making a difference to their life? Should we stop using social networking sites as apparently the network is narrowing instead of widening..!! Please share your views in the comments section below.

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