Be your own valentine..!
Updated: May 15, 2020
[Forget everything and enjoy your own company]
“None of us likes to be a slave and we all want freedom, but our happiness depends upon others, isn’t that slavery too?” – Sadhguru
Today while going through my mails, I came across a mail with this beautiful quote which got stuck in my head.
For most of us, in fact for all of us, our emotions depend upon others- whether we feel happy or sad or angry or ecstatic, it all depends on the people around us. But my question is- should it be like this?
No, not at all! If we want to be free, we need to ensure that our emotions are dependent on us only!
It is a matter of pleasant vs unpleasant situation within us and that’s about it!
Too much gyaan, eh?
Okay, so today, on this day of love, valentine’s day when I am seeing people with varied perspectives depending on their feelings, I thought of sharing my thoughts which might be of help to some of us or it may give us something to ponder upon.
Valentine’s day- a day which is known to celebrate the love between people has become super popular, but like all good things, the popularity has come with its own set of criticism. After speaking to a few people about what their views are on this day, I have collated a list of a few most common thoughts:
1. Type I: People who have a partner and they are in love with their partner feel that it is a great way to take some quality time from the everyday busy schedule and celebrate the love.
2. Type II: Some people feel that is a way of wasting time and energy. It is just another way of spending money for no reason.
3. Type III: There are also a few people who celebrate this special day with their loved ones instead of just with the partner, be it mom or dad or siblings or friends. They believe and say that love has different own forms.
4. Type IV: Surprisingly, there is another set of a people who say that they celebrate love quite often. For them, valentines should come every month because it gives them a chance to make their partner feel special, which they often tend to miss doing because of the rushed life. Hence, they do spend quality time every now and then with their loved ones, without giving the day any special name! (I was touched, touchwood to such couples)
5. Type V: And there comes another lot, who are single and wait for the time to celebrate this day, when they get a partner.
All in all, each of us has a different opinion about this day but the common thing is that our feelings are dependent on others.
I am not here to share my views on who is right or who is wrong. Not at all! I am here for something else.
I have not come across many people who say that they celebrate this day with their own self, who enjoy me-time today and celebrate the love within. Not many, trust me. Not even handful!
It is high time for us to fall in love with our own selves. If we become happy inside, we will be able to look at all the good things outside as well. If you love yourself, then nothing else would matter.
But the question is how do we do that?
Here are a few ways which you can try to at least start the process of self-love. You never know, what may help!
1. Learn to see and appreciate beauty: Appreciate the beauty around you. Observe carefully by being present. A good sunny day in winters, flowers blooming, trees growing, children playing and people laughing. Laugh with them. Play with the kids. You will begin to see the happiness inside yourself if you start appreciating the beauty outside-everyday.
2. Pamper yourself: If not you, then who else, and why? There is absolutely no harm in loving yourself and hence it is important to give value to yourself. Do things just because you want to do it. Cultivate joy. Have fun. Make a list of all the things which you want to and start with them. It does not matter what others will think, they will think anyway.
3. Be grateful: Express gratitude. To everything. For everything that you have. Make an intentional habit of writing any 5 good things which were good in the day and feel thankful to them. Trust me, this can-do wonders to your mood. (for details, you may read my another blog- Let's be thankful today: https://www.aakanshamahajan.com/post/let-s-be-thankful-today)
4. Forget the worries: You know not everything around you will happen according to you and that’s how it should be. Don’t fret. Enjoy what you have. Relax and tell yourself- ‘I will use the current situation in my favor”. Take a deep breath and smile.
5. Love yourself: Praise yourself in the mirror, for all the good things that you have. Love your strengths and let them shine. Be patient with yourself and embrace the unknown. Tell yourself each day- “I love you unconditionally and will forever do”. Nobody can love you, if you don’t love yourself.
6. Feel your emotions: Be aware of what you are feeling. If you are depressed, feel it. When you are joyful, feel it. Enjoy it. When you are afraid, ask yourself why? Feel your emotions and don’t try to blur them. Emotions felt can help you in discovering yourself. And then only you can work for your own betterment.
7. Eradicate self-criticism: We are all work in progress. There are good days and there are bad days too. Sometimes we are not able to achieve or what we wanted to. It's absolutely fine. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Stand again and start again. It is not the end yet!
8. Take care of your body: Love your body! Nourish yourself with healthy food, water, exercise and good thoughts. Positive thoughts also act as a fuel to our body. Give yourself time to rest and restore too. Enjoy the process.
I am sure, the day when we will start loving yourselves, no amount of misery will affect us the way it does now. No one will be powerful enough to tell us how and what to feel. Our emotions must depend on how we feel, only!
There is no harm in trying, what’s say?
How many of you will give these small steps a try- for your own, real and self- dependent happiness?
Do share your thoughts in the comment section below.
P.S. Happy valentine’s day to all. Much love! God bless😊