Love can happen in arranged marriage as well- a statement I have been listening to, from quite some time (since the time my family started thinking that I have reached the ‘right ‘ age to get married now), with all the stories of my parents and grandparents attached to it explaining to me and convincing me about arranged love. And I never believed in it, till I met my arranged love (there is more to it, keep reading)J
Yes, it happened. I am rokafied and it is completely an arranged set-up by our parents (I have been asked this question by surprisingly many people around and hence I decided to mention it here).
I never believed in arranged love. The only thing I could understand was arranged-marriage-without-love. Arranged love-ahaan, so basically you are supposed to meet a complete stranger in a cafe amongst his and your families, get some ten-fifteen minutes of awkward conversation with him and say yes? Say yes to a marriage- a commitment for a lifetime which changes the course of your entire life and restructure everything, c’mon, this is insane?
And, what essential piece of information will you get to decide that you are going to marry him in those 15 minutes of planned first meet when every person would try to put his best foot forward? Well at the same time, what will you share about yourself? Moreover, how will anyone guarantee that the decision taken (if it is a YES) is going to be right?
These questions always used to haunt me. How can I blindly jump into a bottomless well and trust the whole process of choosing a life-partner believing that everything will turn out well for me (and perhaps for him as well)?
However, things turned out in a way, I could never even imagine.
And I am proudly sharing it here for two reasons:
1. Showing my gratitude and love to my fiance and my new family for giving me all the love, warmth and comfort in such a short period of time, for which my thanking words will never be enough.
2. For those who are still going through the process of looking-for-a-suitable-match, trust me- things will happen when they are destined to happen-in a right way at the right time with the right person. Just keep the faith and be YOU, real YOU.
And so here is a speak peek into how it began and how everything just fell into place:
Like all the previous set-ups, this was also arranged by his and my parents where we met with our families and were asked to sit on another table to discuss about each other’s likes and dislikes and see if we would like to go ahead.
It was extremely awkward in the beginning but then everybody on the table was so warm that the awkwardness disappeared very soon. When I sat with him, the only thing I knew was that I will be ‘real’ me, no pretension and no falseness. So I was quite comfortably talking about how I am and what I am. He, at the same time, was (probably) looking for someone who does not have to showcase her qualities and can be original, whatever it be. He seemed to be a nice man in the first go as he had shown chivalry (had this not happened, I would not have said ‘nice’). The conversation lasted for around twenty minutes where we shared who are and what are our expectations from our life, I believe quite honestly (unexpectedly) without the thought of being ‘judged’.
When we came back to our parents, we were asked how the meeting was. Though the small chit chat session did not give me a clear reason to say yes, it did not give me any reason to say NO either. There was nothing strikingly inappropriate that we could sense in each other, nor did any bit of the talk seem inappropriate. However, somehow, be it the conversation or the way he was, or the way he treated me, I don’t know exactly what, I wanted to become a little open and believe that there might be a slight chance that everything is not so twisted and things might turn out well here.
After all, what good has ever come out of being extremely negative and pessimistic? So I decided to give it a chance (he might have thought the same) and our phone numbers were exchanged.
Starting from small texts to long chats and then longer chat sessions, we became comfortable with each other in a very short period of time. Texting and phone calls became regular where honestly our major discussions were about the common topic-‘food’:P . The discussions steered in a direction where we both decided that it would make sense to meet again and then make a decision. We planned to meet again where we discussed in detail about how we are looking forward to our lives- individually. A lot of things matched between us. Somehow, in the middle of all the conversations, we clicked and our frequencies matched. This might sound weird but that’s how it was. All my apprehensions were vanished. I still cannot explain it but yes that’s how it was. We shared our greatest laughs and deepest sorrows. Everything was just real. I was raw me and he was real him. The conversations continued and we finally knew what we want. The families decided to tie our knot.
From completely unknown strangers to being comfortable to friends to fiance- we now are hitched and ready to be happily imprisoned with each other. We now feel happily prepared to take on this new chapter in our lives in its full stride. The precursors including the dress code, type and place of meeting, the pressure of being judged and apparent absurdity of the whole concept is immaterial to me now. I am just glad that I found my gem.
After the formal roka ceremony, started our long phone marathons (and of course sleep deprivations), facetime and WhatsApp chats during work hours, the eagerness to meet for days in a row, needless to say- the life is brimming with joy. We had a head-on-collision with love and all I can say is YES- without a doubt- a million times YES..!
Amen to us!
There is nothing called love at first sight and the process of finding love is still a dark path where you cannot see what’s ahead, but if he is indeed the one for you, no amount of feelings in the world can define that abundance of love, happiness and companionship this bond will bring to you.
“Sometimes, the best thing that you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, and not obsess. Just breathe and have faith that everything will work out for the best.”
How did you find your life partner? Has anything like this (unbelievable like stories) ever happened to you? Do share your story in the comment section below.