A3: A week to my wedding..!!
*Dhak-dhak* I am just a week away from my wedding. (Written a week before my wedding about my emotions of the last few weeks) [When the whole world was turning upside down, when my bhai and mom had no time to breathe as they has the herculean tasks on their heads to be done, when Samiksha was the only patient listener to all my anxious talks, when I genuinely had no time to talk to Akshay, I decided to pen down my emotions. The emotions which were impacting me so much that it was important for me to feel better. These emotions became severe almost a month prior to my wedding so it is about the feelings of the same month. This was my attempt to make myself feel a little better]
Every girl goes through a series of emotions during her wedding preparation time and as the D-day starts getting closer, the anxieties, nervousness, panic attacks keep increasing tremendously. Similar things happened to me. My emotions took a whole 360 degree turn on one day when I woke up and realised that I am just 30 days away from my wedding day.
Its 2nd May today. Exactly one months to my wedding. Ohh maaaaiiiii gaaawwwwddddd…
This is happening. This is actually happening.
I am getting married. In next 30 days I will be married. The day is almost here.
[Just like all the girls who are near the day of their wedding, I too was going through a vivacious circle of emotions. A lot of questions kept revolving around in my mind. This day was tough as I had too much on my mind to think]
Is this right? Isn’t it too early? Am I ready? Is he ready? How will everything turn out? Will I be a good partner? A good daughter in law? How will I live without my mom and my bhai? How will I manage everything? Will he be good to me? And this trail of questions was never ending.
Other than the dilemma of what and how things will turn out after the wedding, since the wedding is in just 30 days, I need to be ready for it. But I am not. I have never ending work to do. I am not prepared for it. My to-do list is not going to finish. Ever. In any way. it can never be.
I have still not received my wedding lehenga. My engagement dress is yet not finalised. No dress of mine is stitched yet. I have not bought anything which I will need after marriage- no accessories, no bag, no footwear, nothing. And what about my jewellery which I need to wear on my wedding? And the chooda? What about honeymoon shopping? Ufffff.. how will I do this all? In just a little time that I have.
Ohh yes, how can I forget. I have to go to work as well. With 6 am to 5 pm of work (including the traveling part), I don’t know how I will ever be able to get all the things in place. It is not possible. Just not possible. What should I do? I need to take a break from work. I genuinely need that. But ohh my god, I cannot. It is exam time and I am required in my school much more than I am needed here. I am gone. I am totally gone.
[And with these thoughts, that day passed with the questions, nervousness and tears. But I could not do anything concrete]
I met Samiksha the next day and shared how I am totally screwed with so many things lined up. And she, my darling, hugged me and said-“ Dii,, aap tension mat lo, sab ho jaega, hum milkar sab kar lenge.”
That statement and the hug was so comforting in itself that I started feeling light. Even though nothing changed, but I felt better 😊
The days started to pass but we ensured that we utilise the most of whatever time was in our hands, we used to go for shopping every single day, after my school hours. Chandni Chowk and Rajouri Garden were my second homes for those days. Slowly, things started falling into place. I got all(majorly all) my dresses stitched. My wedding lehenga got ready (Ohh, I am in love with it😘). I finalised my engagement dress too😍. We divided the days for different works. Since we had only few hours in each day, we had to be very smart in utilising those hours. One day was for footwear shopping and the other was for accessories. One day for Chandni Chowk and the other for Rajouri Garden. One day for trials of the dresses and the other for buying more. one for buying the wedding jewellery and chooda, other for various other accessories. But I enjoyed, I enjoyed it all. [And I know for sure that I am going to miss this time. Real bad].
Eventually, somehow, with all the support from Samiksha, I was able to sail through. Sail through all the paranoid thoughts, the procrastinations and the actual completion of tasks. Not to miss, it was the support of my bhai and my mom which kept me going. And yes, how can I forget, my would be husband (my dear Akshay), who is always with me (may be not physically but emotionally), who was there to cheer me up when I was down, who visited me many a times to surprise me and was always on the roll when I was busy.
And here I am today, just a week away from my wedding day, completely ready (okay, not completely, there are a few things still pending- the blouse of my Mehendi lehenga is yet not stitched, the floral jewellery is not designed and a few more things still need to be done).
But I am happy, I am at peace. Because I am lucky enough to have such lovely people around me who have been with me through this difficult (yet wonderful) time.
This week has been dedicated to the dance practice for the engagement day when some of my cousins will visit us. I and Akshay have also planned to perform a dance together. In the middle of all the chaos and the magnificent amount of work which my bhai and mom are doing, I don’t know how will we manage this too.
But just like we are managing till now, I am sure, we will happily manage this week as well.
I am happy and excited (a bit nervous as well). And of course, I am smiling now 😁
[This post actually made me feel so good. I don’t know when will I get the chance to publish it but that’s fine too]